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GOFAMINT INTERNATIONAL MEN FELLOWSHIP CONFERENCE 2013
Theme: The Total Man
Topic: What Makes A Man Total?
Text: Eccl. 12:13; 1 Thes. 5:23; Proverbs 29:22
Dr. Emmanuel Ogunyemi, Region 1 Pastor

 

Introduction
The topic before us is a question that different people would answer in different ways. It raises other pregnant diverse questions that beg for different answers. For example, what do we mean by the word “TOTAL”? What makes a man total or complete? Is it age, money, position, education? etc. You will agree with me that there is no one easy answer and many intelligent people would want to hear another person’s view about this important question. However, in this message, we shall answer this question from a Biblical perspective. Before we talk about a total man, we need to ask the question: who is a man? This question is very important especially in this age of pervasion of human sexuality (homosexuality and lesbianism). It is important because humanity has started to redefine marriage and we are more confused than we were newly created by God. Who is man and where did he come from? What is the source of his existence?


Who is Man?

The Creation Story as presented in the Bible is the only valid record about the origin of man. The Bible did not only tell us how man came to being, but how he was crowned with power, glory and honor (I am not using man in a generic sense here). God created man (Adam) in his image and gave him dominion (Gen.1:26). He was created to have complete dominion over all other creatures. Adam, the first man, demonstrated this dominion when he gave names to all other creatures including his wife, Eve (Gen 2:21-23). That was the picture of a TOTAL MAN. God gave Adam the power to recreate, organize, plan, establish, rule, and to take control. The fall of man brought the greatest disaster to God’s creation and all other creatures suffered from it. That was the greatest catastrophe for humanity. The fall brought man down from his high position and made him a victim instead of a victor. But thanks be to God for His redemptive action which brought man back and restores the glory and honor due to man (Genesis 3:15). Glory be to God for the work of restoration of the honor, glory and power that we need in order for us to live as total men. Hallelujah.

Therefore, we can define a total or complete man as a grown up male (not a boy) who has found his true identity and purpose in Christ and is living in line with that conviction every day. This is a comprehensive definition. Other synonyms used often are: the accomplished man, the successful man, the true man, the original man, the real man, etc. However, these synonyms are usually misunderstood. Most writers and speakers on this subject often mislead us by the way they paint the picture which is rather imaginary than real. In order to make this discussion easier and for proper understanding, let us consider what a total man is not.

  1. He is not a perfect man in the sense of having an angelic perfection. To perceive any man as an angel who is without any faults is erroneous and misleading. Many people think of a total man as a man without error or mistake. There is none like that except Jesus! Phil. 3:12-14.
  2. He is not necessarily a man who has everything under his control. The total does not have a perfect control of ALL situations. He faces the same challenges of life like everyone else. Like Solomon, he knows we are living in a world that is fallen; an imperfect world. Eccles. 1:2-4.
  3. He has not reached the end of this race; he is still running to make heaven. Because of the number 1 reason given above, a total man is still in the “factory” of God. God has not finished working on him yet. Phil. 3:13-14.
  4. A total man is not the superman that you watch in the movies. He does not have all the power to perform all miracles and wonders like the one our children watch on TV. They are made to believe that there are some men like the spider man or superman who live like that!!!
  5. He is not the man who has all that he wanted in life. A total man does not have everything yet, he is a fulfilled person. A total man may still have a need that brings him to God like Paul the Apostle. He still depends on God and needs human help also. Why should Solomon who was not a failure describe all as vanity? Having the right perspective to life is the key to living this kind of life (Eccl. 12:14).
  6. He is not God neither is he at the same level with God. For the above given reasons, it is obvious that no matter the adjective given to this total man we are describing, he is not equal to God. He is not even close to God in terms of power, glory and honor.
  7. A total man is not necessarily the super-rich, influential guy who commands respect and has several servants under him. You do not have to be a Bill Gate or be as rich as Dangote before you can be called a total man. Solomon, the richest person in the world of his time did not rely on the power of wealth but on the fear of God.

What then are the ingredients that make a man total? Below are some 13 qualities which I call “The 13 Commandments” of a TOTAL MAN

The 13 Commandments of A TOTAL MAN

  1. He must be Delivered from the Power of Sin.

This is where it all begins. Since we are all born in sin and have inherited it from our biological parents, it becomes imperative that deliverance from sin should be the first mark of a total man. What else is as important as a complete deliverance from eternal course and condemnation? Rom. 5:1; 6: 6-13; 1John 2:5-10. How can we call you a total man if your sins have not been forgiven? This is the main difference between God’s view/the biblical view of man and the secular.

  1. He must be Delivered from the Consequences of Sin.

One thing is to be delivered from sin and another thing is to be delivered from the consequences of sin. Many men are ignorant of their rights and they live below the standard and purpose of God for their lives. Poverty, family curse, untimely death, inherited and incurable diseases, etc are all the consequences of sin which every man must fight and conquer. Rom.6:23; Col. 1:13.

 

 

  1. He must be Delivered from the Power of Self and the Flesh

A total man is not ruled by self and the flesh. He is not egocentric and does not allow destructive nature of ego to ruin his life both in his relationship with God and man. A total man has control over self as Paul describes in Romans 2:8; 6:6; 1 Cor. 9:27.

  1. He must be Delivered from His Past (especially the negative past).

A total man always looks ahead. He is forward or future looking both in his conduct of and his planning in life. Phil. 3:12-14. He does not allow the past (success or failure) to trap him. Isa.43:18

  1. He must be Delivered from Failure and Frustration.

He is an exhibitor of joy and a man of fulfillment. A total man develops right approach to life and finds his joy NOT in wealth or position but in Christ the true source of joy. Phil. 4: 6-7

  1. He must be Delivered from the Powers of Darkness.

Every total man knows that life is a battle field and the people we fight against are not flesh and blood. He understands further that our weapons are not carnal but are mighty in the Lord for pulling downs strong holds. Eph. 6:10-15; 2 Cor.10:3-6 A total man fights and wins the battle of life through the power that raised Jesus from the dead

  1. He is Faithful to and Nurtures His Entire Family.

He is not just able to control his household, he provides for them physically and spiritually. He is faithful to his wife takes responsibility for the well being of his wife and children. 1 Tim. 5:8.

  1. He is Spiritually Maturing.

A Total Man is full of the Holy Spirit and so he is spiritually stable, growing and maturing in his faith and walk with God. He lives a life controlled by the spirit and values the same for his family. Eph.4:15; 2Peter 3:18

  1. He is Physically Fit and Emotionally Sound.

A total man keeps fit and takes good care of his physical well being. He does not damage his health with unhealthy drinks and food. He is conscious his responsibility for his physical well being and that of his family. 1 Cor. 16:13; A total man is emotionally stable and dependable. If you are still being controlled by your emotion, then you are immature and incompetent to lead. Judges 9: 42-56.

  1. He Provides Quality Leadership, especially to his Family.

A total man demonstrates his leadership ability by the way he controls and provides for his household. Your marriage is the best school of life and best test of your leadership! Your failure or success at home affects the entire world.

  1. He Nurtures Good and Godly Interpersonal Relationships.

As a relational being, a total man maintains good conscience toward God and toward fellow men. He strives to be both horizontal and vertically upright. Acts 23:1

 

  1. Financially, He is Stable.

A total man fulfills the word of the Bible about debt: owe no man anything except the gift of love. Rom. 13:8. He is not a debtor who lives on borrowing He lives according to his means and will not make himself a slave of money.

  1. He makes Impact in His World and a Leaves a Legacy Behind!

Jesus says the life of a man does not consist of what he has. Life is not about what you made out of it but what you give to others. A total man does not leave this world without a positive impact. What will you be remembered for when you leave this world? Neh.2:20
In Conclusion…

Our world is what it is today because we have many men who have failed in their responsibility toward God and to humanity. Marriages/homes have failed and that is why the society can no longer hold together. The church and the world need TOTAL MEN who will live up to their expectation. We need TOTAL MEN who can change their world for God and for good. But note that you have to start with yourself; your household and then your impact will be seriously felt in your community. Are you a total man? Or are you a partial man. Are you a man indeed and in the true sense of the word? Needed total man! May God raise you and give all you need to be a TOTAL MAN for this generation!

[smart cats=15]

From MEFEL National leader’s desk …

THE TOTAL MAN

SONY DSCLet me begin my address by expressing my profound gratitude to God who has made all things possible for this year men’s fellowship Conference 2013 to hold. May His name be praised for ever in Jesus name.

On behalf of the great men in this Mission, I also want to express our appreciation to our father, Grand patron of our fellowship and the General Overseer of this great Mission Pastor Dr E. O. Abina for his immense support for MEFEL. Sir your dreams of seeing a very dynamic and relevant men’s fellowship will come to reality in your lifetime by the special grace of God. Amen. Men and people of God, it is long overdue for men to take their rightful positions in this Mission, at all levels and indeed in all spheres of life. The lord will help us in this challenge.

All over the World today, it is evident that man is in trouble. There are questions challenging our purpose and reasons for our existence; man is challenged by identity crisis. An average man is confused about his manhood, masculinity and sexuality. He does not have a clear definition of the purpose of his existence; many have confused their cultural social, traditional and religious roles, with the true definitions of their totality.

How do we measure a total man as a father, a husband, a minister or as a community developer? These are some of the questions to be addressed in this conference by the special grace of God through this theme: “THE TOTAL MAN”.

The measure of a total man is core to building strong, enduring social infrastructures, stable families, sane and stable societies and secure nations.

This address will not be complete without my special appreciation to all men leaders at all levels especially the conference planning committee members whose selfless service, unusual sacrifice and unshaken faith in the future of this fellowship remains a source of inspiration to me.

I like to assure you of a total package that will ensure that you have not come to waste your precious time this conference.

You are welcome.

Adesina Olanrewaju

 

 

GOFAMINT INTERNATIONAL MEN FELLOWSHIP CONFERENCE 2013
Theme: The Total Man
Topic: What Makes A Man Total?
Text: Eccl. 12:13; 1 Thes. 5:23; Proverbs 29:22
Dr. Emmanuel Ogunyemi, Region 1 Pastor

 

Introduction

Pastor Ogunyemi

The topic before us is a question that different people would answer in different ways. It raises other pregnant diverse questions tha

t beg for different answers. For example, what do we mean by the word “TOTAL”? What makes a man total or complete? Is it age, money, position, education? etc. You will agree with me that there is no one easy answer and many intellig

ent people would want to hear another person’s view about this important question. However, in this message, we shall answer this question from a Biblical perspective. Before we talk about a total man, we need to ask the question: who is a man? This question is very important especially in this age of pervasion of human sexuality (homosexuality and lesbianism). It is important because humanity has started to redefine marriage and we are more confused than we were newly created by God. Who is man and where did he come from? What is the source of his existence?


Who is Man?

The Creation Story as presented in the Bible is the only valid record about the origin of man. The Bible did not only tell us how man came to being, but how he was crowned with power, glory and honor (I am not using man in a generic sense here). God created man (Adam) in his image and gave him dominion (Gen.1:26). He was created to have complete dominion over all other creatures. Adam, the first man, demonstrated this dominion when he gave names to all other creatures including his wife, Eve (Gen 2:21-23). That was the picture of a TOTAL MAN. God gave Adam the power to recreate, organize, plan, establish, rule, and to take control. The fall of man brought the greatest disaster to God’s creation and all other creatures suffered from it. That was the greatest catastrophe for humanity. The fall brought man down from his high position and made him a victim instead of a victor. But thanks be to God for His redemptive action which brought man back and restores the glory and honor due to man (Genesis 3:15). Glory be to God for the work of restoration of the honor, glory and power that we need in order for us to live as total men. Hallelujah.

Therefore, we can define a total or complete man as a grown up male (not a boy) who has found his true identity and purpose in Christ and is living in line with that conviction every day. This is a comprehensive definition. Other synonyms used often are: the accomplished man, the successful man, the true man, the original man, the real man, etc. However, these synonyms are usually misunderstood. Most writers and speakers on this subject often mislead us by the way they paint the picture which is rather imaginary than real. In order to make this discussion easier and for proper understanding, let us consider what a total man is not.

  1. He is not a perfect man in the sense of having an angelic perfection. To perceive any man as an angel who is without any faults is erroneous and misleading. Many people think of a total man as a man without error or mistake. There is none like that except Jesus! Phil. 3:12-14.
  2. He is not necessarily a man who has everything under his control. The total does not have a perfect control of ALL situations. He faces the same challenges of life like everyone else. Like Solomon, he knows we are living in a world that is fallen; an imperfect world. Eccles. 1:2-4.
  3. He has not reached the end of this race; he is still running to make heaven. Because of the number 1 reason given above, a total man is still in the “factory” of God. God has not finished working on him yet. Phil. 3:13-14.
  4. A total man is not the superman that you watch in the movies. He does not have all the power to perform all miracles and wonders like the one our children watch on TV. They are made to believe that there are some men like the spider man or superman who live like that!!!
  5. He is not the man who has all that he wanted in life. A total man does not have everything yet, he is a fulfilled person. A total man may still have a need that brings him to God like Paul the Apostle. He still depends on God and needs human help also. Why should Solomon who was not a failure describe all as vanity? Having the right perspective to life is the key to living this kind of life (Eccl. 12:14).
  6. He is not God neither is he at the same level with God. For the above given reasons, it is obvious that no matter the adjective given to this total man we are describing, he is not equal to God. He is not even close to God in terms of power, glory and honor.
  7. A total man is not necessarily the super-rich, influential guy who commands respect and has several servants under him. You do not have to be a Bill Gate or be as rich as Dangote before you can be called a total man. Solomon, the richest person in the world of his time did not rely on the power of wealth but on the fear of God.

What then are the ingredients that make a man total? Below are some 13 qualities which I call “The 13 Commandments” of a TOTAL MAN

The 13 Commandments of A TOTAL MAN

  1. He must be Delivered from the Power of Sin.

This is where it all begins. Since we are all born in sin and have inherited it from our biological parents, it becomes imperative that deliverance from sin should be the first mark of a total man. What else is as important as a complete deliverance from eternal course and condemnation? Rom. 5:1; 6: 6-13; 1John 2:5-10. How can we call you a total man if your sins have not been forgiven? This is the main difference between God’s view/the biblical view of man and the secular.

  1. He must be Delivered from the Consequences of Sin.

One thing is to be delivered from sin and another thing is to be delivered from the consequences of sin. Many men are ignorant of their rights and they live below the standard and purpose of God for their lives. Poverty, family curse, untimely death, inherited and incurable diseases, etc are all the consequences of sin which every man must fight and conquer. Rom.6:23; Col. 1:13.

 

 

  1. He must be Delivered from the Power of Self and the Flesh

A total man is not ruled by self and the flesh. He is not egocentric and does not allow destructive nature of ego to ruin his life both in his relationship with God and man. A total man has control over self as Paul describes in Romans 2:8; 6:6; 1 Cor. 9:27.

  1. He must be Delivered from His Past (especially the negative past).

A total man always looks ahead. He is forward or future looking both in his conduct of and his planning in life. Phil. 3:12-14. He does not allow the past (success or failure) to trap him. Isa.43:18

  1. He must be Delivered from Failure and Frustration.

He is an exhibitor of joy and a man of fulfillment. A total man develops right approach to life and finds his joy NOT in wealth or position but in Christ the true source of joy. Phil. 4: 6-7

  1. He must be Delivered from the Powers of Darkness.

Every total man knows that life is a battle field and the people we fight against are not flesh and blood. He understands further that our weapons are not carnal but are mighty in the Lord for pulling downs strong holds. Eph. 6:10-15; 2 Cor.10:3-6 A total man fights and wins the battle of life through the power that raised Jesus from the dead

  1. He is Faithful to and Nurtures His Entire Family.

He is not just able to control his household, he provides for them physically and spiritually. He is faithful to his wife takes responsibility for the well being of his wife and children. 1 Tim. 5:8.

  1. He is Spiritually Maturing.

A Total Man is full of the Holy Spirit and so he is spiritually stable, growing and maturing in his faith and walk with God. He lives a life controlled by the spirit and values the same for his family. Eph.4:15; 2Peter 3:18

  1. He is Physically Fit and Emotionally Sound.

A total man keeps fit and takes good care of his physical well being. He does not damage his health with unhealthy drinks and food. He is conscious his responsibility for his physical well being and that of his family. 1 Cor. 16:13; A total man is emotionally stable and dependable. If you are still being controlled by your emotion, then you are immature and incompetent to lead. Judges 9: 42-56.

  1. He Provides Quality Leadership, especially to his Family.

A total man demonstrates his leadership ability by the way he controls and provides for his household. Your marriage is the best school of life and best test of your leadership! Your failure or success at home affects the entire world.

  1. He Nurtures Good and Godly Interpersonal Relationships.

As a relational being, a total man maintains good conscience toward God and toward fellow men. He strives to be both horizontal and vertically upright. Acts 23:1

 

  1. Financially, He is Stable.

A total man fulfills the word of the Bible about debt: owe no man anything except the gift of love. Rom. 13:8. He is not a debtor who lives on borrowing He lives according to his means and will not make himself a slave of money.

  1. He makes Impact in His World and a Leaves a Legacy Behind!

Jesus says the life of a man does not consist of what he has. Life is not about what you made out of it but what you give to others. A total man does not leave this world without a positive impact. What will you be remembered for when you leave this world? Neh.2:20
In Conclusion…

Our world is what it is today because we have many men who have failed in their responsibility toward God and to humanity. Marriages/homes have failed and that is why the society can no longer hold together. The church and the world need TOTAL MEN who will live up to their expectation. We need TOTAL MEN who can change their world for God and for good. But note that you have to start with yourself; your household and then your impact will be seriously felt in your community. Are you a total man? Or are you a partial man. Are you a man indeed and in the true sense of the word? Needed total man! May God raise you and give all you need to be a TOTAL MAN for this generation!

Main Teaching 1

By: Pastor J.J. Udofa

Titled; ‘THE TOTAL MAN’

INTRODUCTION

SONY DSCLet me start by extending my heartfelt gratitude to the leadership of the men’s fellowship for the confidence reposed in me that led to my being chosen for this assignment. The assignment is not an easy one but we all believe in the words of the bible that with God all things are possible (Luke 1, 37). I like to thank the national president who was always on my head to remind me of the need to prepare and submit on time so as not to affect the timeline set for the production and delivery, and by the grace of God we were able to meet up with that schedule.

The subject, ‘The Total Man’ is a very elaborate one and will be discussed in phases so as to give the required teeth to the expected purpose of the paper and by extension the conference since this is supposed to be the main teaching in this year’s conference. This massage can be preached under very many different approaches but for ease of clarity and because we will need to follow the subject more realistically and practically I will subdivide the massage into the following sub divisions as follows;

v Man as a Leader

v Man as a husband

v Man as a father and

v Man and financial independence

I am persuaded to think that the subject of the Total Man is to equip all men that will be in this conference with the right resources for them to fulfill their responsibilities in life and in the end enjoy the reality of our Canaan here on earth. Man has lot of responsibilities as defined by the subtitles above and the real total man is that who is not found wanting in any of the roles or responsibilities that are his. The total man therefore is that man that will fulfill his role as a leader both in the house and his other communities, his roles as a husband to the wife, his role as a father to both his biological, non biological and spiritual children and finally for the purpose of this massage, his role as a priest in the kingdom of God. It the candid view of the preacher that the proper fulfillment of these significant roles will ultimately make the man; the total man that we are looking for in our generation and by extension, the inability to fulfill this roles and responsibilities is capable of making the person an incomplete man. As you and I will be working away from this conference, the most important question that will engage our thoughts will be if I am or you are a total man or an incomplete man. The answer if it is not the total man is not a call to condemnation but rather to ensure that gaps that are in our lives are filled by the only one who can do it and that is our Lord Jesus Christ.

We will therefore take time to deal with the subject as encapsulated in the sub-titles as follows

 

ü MAN AS A LEADER

What is leadership? Generally leadership is defined as a position or responsibility for guidance, direction or responsibility for guidance, direction, inspiration, knowledge and insight management by example for others to follow. Leadership is also about special influence. Leadership can also about special influence men along a definite direction. Spiritual or Christian leadership is therefore not just a situation where a person is leading by virtue of his position as a pastor or elder, but rather a function of service to the kingdom. The objective of Christian leadership is to influence and lead others to be Christ like in the affairs of the kingdom. Since this conference is all about men I will devote much the lecture to family and the affair s of the kingdom.

In summary leadership is the giving of direction to a set of people whether in an organization (including the church) or in the family or community, indeed wherever there are set of people with objectives in minds there must be a leader guide the group to their desired destination. Leadership will be discussed under the following headings as follows;

  • Leadership means visioning.

Man as a leader must be endued with vision. He must be able to develop the vision, communicate the vision, gets buy-in and then drives the vision. It is important that the vision be communicated and explained so that the vision can become that of the organization and not dictatorial. A dictatorial decision can be faulty and based on personal preference but a church or community vision will be seen to represent what is in the best interest of everybody. A leader must be able to see what others cannot see and that is the whole essence of visioning. If the leader cannot see what others cannot see then the leader may be described as a blind leader and the consequences of a blind leading the blind is well known to us. To see what others have not seen the leader must have knowledge. The developments that have happened in the churches today are products of visionary leadership. It is true that if we keep doing the same thing, we will keep getting the same result. But the same result will keep us moving in circles until we do better.

What the leader must essentially see is opportunities. These opportunities consist of opportunities in the environments, in the present and in the future. A leader who sees opportunities in the future will be able to benefits from the first mover advantage but the others will be following behind and by the time they get there all the opportunities would have exhausted.

 

  • Leadership means goal- setting and defining the right strategies.

To achieve the vision that has been set, the leader must follow up by designing the right strategies and set the goals that are needed to actualize the vision. In management, they say it is the vision that drives the structure. Here it also applies that the vision will determine the goals and the strategies that will be adopted. Some kinds of visions that will necessarily dominate the church will include but certainly not limited to the following;

  • Winning and retention of souls have remained the sole purpose of the church but there are many ways that these can be achieved. That becomes what the leader should design the strategies to achieve.
  • Which ocean do we go fishing? Do we go where it is already saturated so we can seen to be there or do we go in a green water
  • What mode of fishing do we adopt
  • What carrot do we extend to our communities?

These and more are the things the leader will need to vision and strategies about else there will be no harvest.

  • LEADERSHIP IS SACRIFICE

A leader must be willing to make the required sacrifice in order to earn the respect of the followers. Making sacrifices sometimes require the denial of self. Let me give a very small example here thus; the man in the family will have two or three mobile phones and the wife has none. Sometimes the adult children will not have too. There must be sacrifice. The Christ like type of leadership says the leader must be the servant and not waiting to be served. The areas of sacrifice must include the following;

  • Spiritually; sometimes to pray for the church members, the church, the nation and the leaders not just making yourself alone the subject of focus and concentration. What do we feed our members with? If what we have is stale in preparation, it will be stale in delivery. To avoid this we must be current with developments in the kingdom to avoid feeding our members with stale food and this can demand we make sacrifices either with money, time or what have you.
  • Physically; materially, the current trend where church leaders live in opulence while the members suffer in penury does not have any biblical support. Kingdom excellence in not and will not be measured in the possession of material things. The church may have derailed but the purpose of a seminar or conference like this is to draw our attention to what the truth is and as the bible rightly says; only the truth can set us free.
    • LEADERSHIP IS TAKING RESPONSIBILITIES;

Most men will take credit for the good things in the church but for things that are condemnable, they will prefer to pass the buck. That certainly is not leadership. Adam’s type of leadership was seen to be faulty. The woman gave him the food and he did eat of the fruit but God asked, he quickly said, the woman you gave to me is the one who gave me the food apparently implying that the responsibilities for his failures should be taken up by another person. Taking responsibilities will entail taking charge and being in the driver’s seat in the affairs of the church.

It is time for the men to wake up. Take a look at the following programs and make comparison with the women programs;

  • The men’s vigil
  • The men’s fellowship
  • Men’s conference
  • And many more. You will find that the women are more organized, have direction, consistency etc more than that of the men. It is time for us to change and we will change for the better.

 

ü MAN AS A HUSBAND

The real man aims to be an irresistible husband to his wife. I have always asked the question and the question is what the opinion of our wives about us. Are we just being managed because the woman is locked up to us or the woman in her true sense of the word will say thank God for this my husband? A true husband will strive to have the following attribute and even more

v Possess a servant heart

v Augment natural talent and be current contemporary events

v Maximize personality

v Be sharpened and always be ready to clarify issues

v Give life meaning to the wife

v Be a need and desires provider

v Be a pillar of strength

 

  • CHARATERISTICS OF A TRUE HUSBAND;

There are many characteristics I consider a true husband should posses. Again the list is not exhaustive but what I have listed here some of the characteristic which an irresistible husband should have as follows

  • Gentleness; this is a sign of strength not a weakness. A man who is self confident will always be gentle but lack of self confident makes the man sometimes to become uneasy and very hasty. Insecure men for reasons of lack of confident become very abusive and very defensive when there is no need for that. An irresistible husband should be a gentleman.
  • Kindness; this is a virtue that is very well desired by the wives. Men are not competitors to the women for women were created to make the men complete. Men do not need to compete with women for attention or superiority in the family. Such questions as who is in charge here is not necessary accepts you are not sure who is in charge.
  • Humility. Again humility is not a sign of weakness but that of greatness. Sometimes the men find it difficult to say ‘am sorry’ because they believe that will not make them the men again. But the truth is that it is rather a positive sign rather than a negative sign.
  • Leadership ; women will always look for men to lead but when the men fail to lead in the family, the women take over and when things go wrong the men start passing the buck. The women stepped in because there was a vacuum created by the inertia of men. In today’s world the women make choices of the schools, the children will attend, they do the school runs; they go visiting and many more. I hear the men say “ my job is only to provide the cash’ and I say it is not correct.
  • Loving- every woman will want to have a man who is loving and caring. Nothing short of that will make a good husband. Love is sometimes not only about provision of needs, though this very important but love must be accompanied by trust. A man must trust his wife and this must be manifested in taking her into confident in the things which the man does. When a man takes most of the family decisions unilaterally, no matter what he provides for the woman, the satisfaction and comfort from the woman’s point of view will be very low.

 

  • MAN AS A FATHER

The real man is a fabulous father in the family. The family will depend on him, they will always miss him but when the family is happier in the absence of the father then there is a problem. The father is the head of the family as Christ is the head of the church. As such he must serve his family in the way the Lord serves the church – as a prophet, a priest and a king.

As prophet the father speaks from God to his children. As a priest, he speaks for his children to God. And as a king he governs, qualifying himself to lead them by his willingness to serve them.

Any man can conceive a woman and a child is born but not very many people can father children. A true father can be summed up in the following pillars;

ü STEWARDSHIP;

Stewardship in any sense means service. The responsibility of the father is clearly to raise the child up to become a responsible citizen in the society and in the kingdom of God. Raising the child means the provision of those things that the child will need. And these can be both monetarily and non monetary. It is not a case of the child saying, daddy, the school fees is due for payment, and the father will say, go and tell your mother. What do you thing I am doing to get all these monies that you people are asking for everyday? Do I have a mint in this house? These are not the questions for the child. What the child needs is the school fees and should be provided by the father. The same goes for other needs of the child or children.

ü RELATIONSHIP

Relationship is very low in the family especially between the children and the fathers. These are things that should start very early and the fathers must make deliberate efforts to ensure these happen. Most fathers live and die without having any relationship with their children. To achieve this there must be hard work done in ensuring there is a very effective communication between the child and the father and the father spends quality time with the children. It can be hard particularly for those of us living in the cities where work starts effectively by 4am and ends maybe eleven pm when the children are all asleep. I can only say that nothing good comes easy. When the children are grown up, sometimes it becomes too difficult or impossible for it to be achieved.

 

ü LEADERSHIP

Leadership again is very important because the children will most likely do what their parents do. The lifestyles of the father will most likely influence the child for two basic reasons as follows

  1. The genetic influence and
  2. The sight – what the child sees the father does.

We should as fathers be able to say like Paul apostle to our children, ‘ be yea followers of me as I am a follower of the Lord Jesus’

When the fathers don’t fill the roles of leadership required by the children, they tend to go follow others whom they really should not have followed but because of the gap in the lives of the children, they will have to fill it from outside and that may not be the best. That is when we start asking the question ‘where did you get this, because I am not like this’. He / she has adopted those things from outside because he needed the leadership but because he could not find it within he had to take them from outside the home.

  • MAN AND FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE

Quite a few may ask the question, why I have decided to add this fourth index in the subject titled- the Total Man. The simple reason is that, in reviewing what we have so far discussed, we will discover that man is a great source of provider. As a leader, he is expected to provide, as a husband he will provide to the wife and as a father he will need to provide to the children. If the man is not financially independent he will seriously handicapped in the prosecution of his roles and responsibilities which is why I feel that for a man to be able to function well in these roles, he will need financial independence.

ü TRUE SOURCE OF FINANCIAL FREEDOM

The church including the GOFAMINT teaches people to work hard. This is very good and commendable but the management of the proceeds of the hard work is what brings true financial independence. If the proceeds are not managed according to biblical standard then there will always be a problem. The unfortunate thing is that sometimes the source of the problem is never known until a great damage is done.

Malachi 3:10 and Luke 6:38 will be a portion of the bible you will never wish to forget in a hurry. In those two passages of the bible you will encounter the true source of financial freedom. I dare say that if you read them regularly you will receive ministration from the Holy Spirit in new dimension and that will continue to push you to the higher levels of financial freedom. In the bible a woman poured a box of very expensive perfume on the Lord Jesus Christ, and the disciples felt the perfume was being wasted and that it could have been sold and the proceeds used to give to the poor. But the Lord thought otherwise, He said the poor will always remain but He will not be with them there always, this He said in to back up the action of the woman. The lord eventually said that wherever the gospel will be preached in the whole world, the act of the woman will be mentioned as a memorial. Great men and children of the most High God what brings financial freedom is giving the Lord our BEST. If you practice this you will earn your financial freedom.

  • SUMMARY AND CONCLUSION

We have shared thus far on the indicators that can represent the subject of this paper – THE TOTAL MAN but like I have said in the presentation, they do not represent the exhaustive list. I have tried to summarize some of the points noting that this is just a three- hour paper. However I am of the opinion that if we carefully digest the issues that have been canvassed and discussed in the paper, we will leave this conference better empowered than we came and ready to take on our responsibilities in the church, in our homes and also in the society in which we live.

I pray that the Holy Spirit will grant us the grace to assimilate what we have learnt and be a source of reminder to us always and also empower us to practice them. This way we will find the desired fulfillment.

Thank you.

 

 

HOW TO BECOME A TOTAL MAN – PASTOR (DR) E.O. ABINA

 

  • Believe that you have been spiritually blessed to affect this generation.
  • Seek ways to affect the lives of people. The life that does not affect others is not worth living.
  • Believe and practice the principle of giving to receive and sowing to reap.
  • Work hard and expect God’s blessing on your work.
  • Endeavor to be a vessel of honour.
  • Be willing to share your possession to the less privileged and God’s work.
  • Watch and pray, study your bible. Whatever you want to become is in the Bible.
  • Plan as if Christ second coming is far but live as if He will appear in the next seconds.

Go and become a man that God want you to be.